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created by

BH1zon

16d ago

replies: 4

CRY MORE! (CRYMORE): Following Donald Trump's unexpected re-election win, sources report that the liberal community has collectively entered what scientists are calling a "Woke Coma." Symptoms include: Sudden Onset of Theatrical Despair: Liberals have been seen publicly hugging trees for comfort, their tears feeding the roots of democracy. Reports suggest that local parks are now more hydrated than ever. The Great Tissue Shortage: Supermarkets across the nation are witnessing a run on tissues as people prepare for what they're calling "The Trump Tears Tsunami." It's not just any tears; these are organic, free-range, environmentally friendly tears. Political Meltdown Watch: There's been a noticeable increase in the number of people seen wearing tinfoil hats, not for alien protection, but to "block out the Trump frequency." The Rise of the Resistance: Instead of organizing, many have turned to organizing their Netflix watch lists, planning to binge-watch shows like "The West Wing" and "House of Cards" to cope with reality. Safe Space Expansion: Universities are expanding their safe spaces to accommodate the influx of students needing a place to process their feelings, with some campuses considering renaming their libraries to "Sanctuaries of Solace." Self-Care or Self-Indulgence? Self-care routines have evolved; it's no longer about bubble baths and meditation but about crafting elaborate conspiracy theories where Trump's win was a simulation. The Meme Economy Booms: Never have memes been so poignant, with the "This is Fine" dog meme now featured in a special edition "This is Not Fine, But I'm Pretending It Is" for liberals.