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6MJPNV

23h ago

Derp Raccoon (DERPG): $DERPG is not a coin. It is a medical diagnosis. This raccoon has zero brain cells. The ones he had he traded for a half-eaten gas station taquito in 2019. He's been running on spite and garbage juice ever since. His credit score is 2. His dentist fired him. His last coherent thought was "what if I eat the styrofoam." He lives in a dumpster behind an abandoned Circuit City. He bathes in old coffee grounds. He files his taxes under "Trash Goblin." He can't spell his own name. He thinks "blockchain" is a type of necklace. He once fought a possum and lost. Badly. The possum took his shoes. No roadmap. No utility. No whitepaper. The whitepaper is a napkin with teeth marks. The roadmap is him walking in circles for six hours. The dev team is just this raccoon wearing a tiny hat and crying. There is no marketing wallet. The marketing is just him screaming at the moon. Tokenomics: 1 billion tokens. All of them stupid. 0% burned because burning requires effort. 0% locked because he forgot the password. 100% chaos. The LP is held together by duct tape and regret. Why buy? Because your portfolio is already down bad and at least this is funny. Because you want a coin that accurately represents your mental state. Because one day this raccoon might wander into traffic and that's when the market cap hits $100M. He's not a hero. He's not a mascot. He's a warning. But he's OUR warning. $DERPG. Forged in garbage. Destined for nothing. 🦝🗑️🚀 (that rocket emoji is ironic, he can't read)