$AFU
Once upon a blockchain, there lived Fat Unicorn Coin, a cryptocurrency so chonky that it couldn't even fit on a decentralized exchange. Market analysts called it "the most bloated asset in history" after investors realized its value was directly tied to how many rainbow donuts the mythical creature consumed daily. Despite its 0.0000001 USD price tag (on a good day), Fat Unicorn Coin boasted a loyal community of meme warriors who swore that "to the moon" was a guarantee because unicorns have wings—duh! Unfortunately, every time the coin tried to pump, it sat down halfway, wheezed, and went back to eating donuts. Truly, a coin for the ages.