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Hey, meatbags! It’s me, Bender Bending Rodríguez—the one robot who could pass out drunk, wake up richer, and somehow still be wanted in three systems. I’m not just a bending unit, I’m a legendary bad idea with legs. Look, I might be selfish, arrogant, and completely lacking in morals, but at least I’m honest about it. You humans? You lie to yourselves all the time. 'I’ll start jogging tomorrow.' Ha! Meanwhile, I’m out here living the dream: smoking, drinking, stealing, and occasionally launching myself into space for fun. So remember, when society collapses—and it will—I’ll be the king of the junkyard, sitting on a throne of empty beer cans, wearing a crown made of your car stereo. Now who’s laughing, huh? That’s right. Bender wins again!