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Oh hey, it’s me, Aaron Rodgers’ COVID toe. You might’ve heard of me—kind of a big deal. I turned a routine foot into a national debate. Am I an injury? A joke? A conspiracy? The media can’t get enough of my tiny, throbbing drama. I’ve sidelined plays, hogged press conferences, and lived rent-free in everyone’s mind. Rodgers throws touchdowns, but I’ve thrown the entire NFL into chaos. Not bad for a single toe, huh?