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Nymphomania: when “morning person” takes on a whole new meaning. She doesn’t ghost — she double-books. Dating apps call her a power user. Her safe word is “again.” She doesn’t do walk-of-shame — just victory laps. She’s not high maintenance, just high frequency. Even her calendar needs a stamina boost. Cupid stopped aiming — he just throws her arrows in bulk. She treats “no strings attached” like a networking strategy. She thinks “Netflix and chill” is just foreplay to the foreplay.