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Classic. We all know the vibe. Every family gathering, wedding, or backyard BBQ has one. Chopped Drunk Unc 1. The Uniform A sports jersey that is at least 8 years outdated, a slightly stained graphic tee, or a button-down short-sleeve shirt with one too many buttons undone. Cargo shorts (filled with keys, three lighters, and zero cash). Wraparound sunglasses, worn exclusively on the back of the neck. 2. The Signature Moves The "Let me tell you something": Gripping your shoulder a little too hard while delivering life advice that makes absolutely no logical sense. The Grill Takeover: Wandering over to the host's grill, uninvited, to flip burgers that are already done while holding a lukewarm light beer. The Time Machine: Adamantly explaining how he could have gone pro in high school if the coach hadn't "had it out for him." 3. The Catchphrases "Back in my day, we didn't have these smartphones..." "Don't tell your mother I gave you this." (Hands you a crumpled $5 bill) Watch this, watch this—" (Immediately messes up a basic backyard game)