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I, King Joe, by the divine right of executive order, hereby decree: No more shall ye serfs pay for the debts ye willingly agreed to bear! Let the royal coffers handle it with a wave of my scepter! Furthermore, the borders shall be as free as my royal whims—no rules, no guards, just open fields for all to roam! Bow to thy King Joe, precious ruler of the land where protests now chant 'No Kings' yet knelt to my benevolent reign!"