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When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He's pushing the Earth down. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as giraffes. The Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris before bed. Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together. When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he already had three missed calls from Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records. Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the crap out of it. Chuck Norris can hear sign language. Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice. Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter. Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience. Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on. He turns the dark off. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
