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The year is 2042. Cappy Fang, sporting his Solana-purple helmet, was still grumpy—now because his jelly donut funding was low. "Look," he growled into his mic, pointing a dramatically fanged finger at a giant monitor displaying Bitcoin's snail-like transaction speed. "Those relics? Bitcoin takes longer than my nan's dial-up! Ethereum gas fees could fund a small space colony! And don't even start with Dogecoin and Shiba Inu—they're just cute, fluffy liabilities!" Cappy puffed out his chest. "We are Cappy Fang on Solana! We are fast! Our only utility is instant nap-time transaction confirmation and maximum grumpiness! We’re a better meme because we’re so efficient at being pointless. Now, where’s my donut airdrop.
