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THE GOAT is exactly what it sounds like — equal parts literal barnyard animal and self-proclaimed Greatest Of All Time, and he will not let you forget it. He struts rather than walks, chest puffed, curled horns catching the light like they're trophies, with a look in his slit-pupiled eyes that says he's already replaying his own highlight reel. He's got a scruffy beard he treats like a championship belt and hooves that click with unearned swagger on every surface he crosses. He doesn't compete so much as show up and declare victory pre-emptively — headbutting obstacles out of pure confidence, chewing through "undefeated" streaks (and tin cans) like it's nothing, and striking a triumphant pose after literally anything, including tripping. Other animals argue endlessly about whether he's actually the best at anything in particular. THE GOAT does not participate in this debate. THE GOAT has already moved on to the next flex.
