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💥 $SIJy — THE COIN THAT’S “NOT A HOTDOG” (BUT DEFINITELY A PUMP) 💥 📉 ROADMAP (WE PIVOTED 69 TIMES WRITING THIS): PHASE 1: Pump until Gavin Belson rage-quits crypto. PHASE 2: Partner with Tres Comas Tequila to fuel the dev team’s “code-sprints” (blackout drunk by noon). PHASE 3: Sue the SEC with “This is not a democracy, it’s a MERITOCRAZY” as our legal defense. 🚨 WARNING: $SIJY may trigger Pied Piper PTSD, sudden urges to rewrite the whitepaper in Assembly, and irrational fear of someone yelling “YOU JUST GOT HOSED!” Not a security (but 100% a ”See Food” diet for your wallet).