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Obituary: Solana (2020 – 2025?) With great sorrow (and some margin calls), we announce the passing of Solana, the once-promising Ethereum killer, after a long and volatile battle with network congestion, validator drama, and bear markets. Born in 2020, Solana quickly rose to fame as the blockchain promising fast transactions, low fees, and occasional outages for character development. During its golden years, Solana attracted degens, NFT flippers, and memecoin enthusiasts alike, offering the thrill of lightning-fast transactions and the ever-present risk of everything going offline. It was a paradise for JPEG enthusiasts and yield farmers—until the winds of market turmoil and SEC scrutiny took their toll. Solana’s health declined in its later years, suffering from network halts, FTX-related trauma, and the relentless wrath of Ethereum maxis. Despite attempts at revival, including memecoins, airdrops, and desperate prayers to the crypto gods, the blockchain succumbed to irrelevance, developer abandonment, and venture capitalist sell-offs. Solana is survived by Ethereum (still expensive), Bitcoin (still slow), and countless rugged investors who "believed the vision." Services will be held on a DEX near you, with donations accepted in stablecoins (preferably not algorithmic). In lieu of flowers, please send gas fees to Ethereum Layer 2s. Rest in Peace, Solana. May your validators find eternal uptime in the great blockchain beyond
