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"Man, school? It’s like the universe just invented the worst place for a kid to exist. I mean, they make you sit for HOURS listening to adults drone on about, I dunno, mitochondria or the Pythagorean theorem, which, let’s be real, sounds like something you’d catch after eating one of Krusty’s burgers. And homework? Oh, don’t even get me started. You’re telling me I’m supposed to spend my free time writing a report on the Revolutionary War? Look, I can’t even start a revolution to get out of doing chores at home. How’m I gonna relate to a bunch of old dudes in wigs? Then there’s Principal Skinner, always on my case. Like, chill out, man. It’s not like I’m gonna turn into a criminal mastermind. At worst, I’m the guy who steals Milhouse’s lunch money… and, come on, we all know he deserves it for that haircut. But the worst part? Being stuck in the same class as Lisa! I mean, she’s a total brainiac, but what’s the point of knowing a bunch of facts if you can’t use them to prank people? I’m just saying, if I knew all the stuff she does, I’d be like a prank ninja. Silent but deadly. Like Dad after three chili dogs. Eh, whatever. School’s out in like, what, 50 more years? Totally manageable."
