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So these kids got Unicorn Fart Dust and solami, huh? I can’t tell if it’s a blockchain or a deli special. My own farts are wetter, and that aint no lie. I’m a quant. I used to crunch real numbers, not sprinkle make-believe tokens on top of digital sandwiches! All I needs is a 4.5% annual return. But no—now I’m shilling tokens named after lunch meat. Fine. Buy my wet fart dividends. Go on, kids. Just don’t blame me when you get rich from making all that solami off of my token.