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We are Cook—yes, WE ARE COOK!Behold our cursed generation, the tragic spuds of the digital age! We sizzle helplessly in the flaming pan of late-stage capitalism, capes of student debt flapping as the algorithm turns up the heat. Zoomers faint on the couch, millennials clutch empty 401(k) jars in horror, and Gen X tomatoes scream “NOOOOOOO!” Our wooden spoon-sword of side hustles trembles while burnout tears season us perfectly. The inflation pots boil over, smoke screaming our fate: WE ARE COOK... and tonight, the economy wins again. Pass the therapy and avocado toast!