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I’m always trying not to kill myself. It’s like this constant noise in my head, a heavy drone I can’t switch off, no matter how many distractions I throw in its way. I scroll endlessly—on Twitter, Telegram, wherever—just hoping to feel something, anything, that’ll pull me back from the edge. But everything feels so distant, like I’m stuck on the outside watching everyone else’s lives pump forward with meaning, while mine just flickers between nothingness and exhaustion. I see people posting about their wins, their gains, their moments of joy, and it’s like trying to catch air with broken fingers. They’re always talking about the next big thing—whether it’s crypto pumps or trading tips from some screener they swear will change everything. But I can’t even find the energy to care.